A burning sensation
And a terrible itch
It was all your fault
And not that nasty Witch
You have to take responsibility
Or quit if you can’t hack it
Now if you’re gonna stick it
Where the sun don’t shine
Always wear a jacket!!!
**********************************************
And here is the last of the Fonzie PSA’s
You are thin and beautiful
But your teeth are rotten and blue
Ex-lax isn’t a desert
And finger isn’t too
I worry about your health
But rather enjoy you in the nude
But I don’t think it’s fair
That I have to pay for your food
Cappuccino
Frothy steamed milk in
Dark rich goodness, I flush
Pretentiously
Growth
Is the winding road
That runs before me and not
The wart on my ass
Chair
Sturdy and loyal
Hidden in background, you share
The farts of thousands
I’ll Walk a Mile in Your Shoes… When Pigs Fly
I have a friend called Optimus
Whose glass is always half full
When mine is half empty
He liked to feed me bull
He looks me in the eyes and says
“Money makes the world go ‘round,
And if I had a penny for your thoughts
I’d always where a frown
“You see the world is an oyster
And if you wear a frown,”
Laughing like a hyena, he said,
“You should wear it upside down.”
“If the eyes are the windows to the soul,”
I said with a clap,
“Yours are getting mighty brown,
So don’t feed me that new age crap”
“You’re not as innocent as a child,
Or as cute, for that matter.
Your better half told me so,
You’re just as mad as a hatter.”
“When the chips are down
And the going gets tough
You don’t get going,
You only bluff.”
I thought he looked as snug as a bug in a rug
With his left foot in his mouth.
Biting his nails, shuffling his feet,
As quiet as a mouse.
A light bulb went on over his head
“People believe what they want to believe,”
He exclaimed with glee,
“Tis better to give than receive,
You are only green with envy,
I am happy as a clam.”
And with his best Popeye voice,
“I yam what I yam.”
“You, my friend, are as crazy as a fox.”
Ending this battle of wits.
And as I rode of into the sunset, I mumbled
“Well, if the shoe fits…..”
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